SEPTEMBER STARTS TOMORROW! WOOOOO!
I can feel myself slowly becoming human again...
SEPTEMBER STARTS TOMORROW! WOOOOO!
I can feel myself slowly becoming human again...
On Sunday, Fuzzy completed his THIRD International Distance triathlon!! That's 4x the distance I did on Saturday. He is so amazing! We started the day at 4am, and he rocked it out from start to finish. You can read his round-up here! Here are some photos!
Fuzzy and Shaun, pre-race, looking adorable. Fuzzy trimmed his hair and beard for the event.
Ready to swim!
Go go go!
Shaun, post swim. He zoomed through the water!
Fuzzy and Shaun running!
I saw a lot of my friends there, who were amazing and did the Sprint!
Roger, Holly, Scot, Kat and Erin!
Jon completed his 2nd Tri!
Here is Jess, whom I referenced before--she did 3 triathlons in 2 weeks!
Ryan, whom I made the Triathlon 2011 pact with. He did great!
From an email from him today:
That's not me being sweet. that's just the word "ox" written a lot."
Happy Friday! Here are some things that are going on in the world and in my mind.
Claire interviewed me and another friend about officiating wedding ceremonies! What an honor. Read it here!
Our friend Mike is fighting cancer, and there is a fundraiser to help him pay for his medical bills. If you are looking for a place to make a donation, please consider Mike! He's amazing and talented and we want him to stick around a while and get back on his feet. Fuzzy and I made a donation of our own and with some proceeds we've made through the sales of our Fuck Cancer bracelets.
Impress These Apes Season 4 Contestant and all around nice guy Daniel Kibblesmith is going to be featured on Monday's episode of Bravo TV's Millionaire Matchmaker. Little did Patty know that she could just "fix it with eyes."
Speaking of Apes, we close Monday! Get your tickets now! Watch it live online!
Speaking of Blewt!-- Reminder that our Don't Spit The Water! Pilot airs September 3rd at Midnight! That's next Saturday night into Sunday morning.
Speaking of TV, I am sad that Expedition Impossible is over. I could probably watch it every day. I am happy with the winners!
The online Sirius radio listening device still sucks. Why does it stop playing after 30 seconds?
I love figs. I had an amazing fig quiche this morning. That's right. FIG QUICHE. From Fraiche.
Today is my brother's last day at his job. Katie's been posting a lot about their upcoming move. SO WEIRD AND EXCITING!
Oh, God. It's Friday, which means that there is a new Drunk Monkeys video over at Four Squirrels. We are drinking Herbsaint. The video is 8 minutes long. And we are DRUNK. I apologize to Jen for being such a steamroller. And my apologies to Mike Doughty for mangling the "Yellow number 5" lyric from Bus to Beelzebub. Wow.
Fuzzy and I have signed up for the Bucktown 5K. Which give me a new goal--to be running again by October 2nd. BRING IT.
I HAVE DECIDED TO COMPETE IN TOMORROW'S TRIATHLON! I know that it will be painful and difficult, but I can live with that more than I could live with my own disappointment and shame if I didn't try. If the pain gets too excrutiating, I can always stop. But I bet I can push through it--its only a 6 mile bike and 1.5 miles on my feet. Easy, right? If you want to come out for it, and you certainly don't have to as I am going to be slow and hobbly, it is at Foster Beach tomorrow morning. I will be in wave 9, starting at 7:54 am, in a white swim cap. EEEE! HOW EXCITING!
Have an amazing weekend everyone!
Pro: New car!
Pro: Listening to the radio during my commute!
Pro: Being able to take day trips! Whenever we want!
Pro: Going to the store!
Pro: Hauling things!
Pro: Not having to deal with drunk Cubs fans!
Pro: Not having to deal with a late train ride after a show!
Pro: You get everywhere quicker!
Pro: You can give people rides!
Pro: You don't have to rent cars when you need one!
Pro: Good in emergency situations!
Pro: Cuts my commute time from 30-60 minutes to a cool 23 minutes!
Con: Expensive car payments.
Con: Buying Gas.
Con: Again, car payments.
Pros and Cons for not getting a new car:
Pro: Not having a car loan payment!
Pro: I'll be able to read more books! (I've already read one!)
Pro: One less thing to worry about!
Pro: Save on car payments, insurance, and parking space rent!
Pro: Not having to decide who will be the designated driver!
Con: No control of when you'll get somewhere.
Con: Having to walk a lot and go up and down stairs all the time (hopefully this is only a temporary Con, while my knee heals.)
Con: Having to deal with humanity on the bus and the train.
Con: Not having a car.
I'm at a crossroads. Time to make some big choices and steps. It's hard, but I need to just stand up tall and own it. It's my life and I need to make the most of it. I need to get some sleep, talk with my husband, and take some steps. This stalled out place I've been for almost a month is soon going to end. I am looking forward to that.
Today I am sans kneebrace, and I'm doing ok. Which makes me more and more conflicted about the tri this week. Yesterday it was hurting pretty badly, but today it only hurts a little. If it was all or nothing, it would be easier to make the decision. But I'm in this weird middle place. Do I let myself rest or do I let myself try to accomplish something amazing? I can't decide. And I know to everyone else in the world it seems stupid that I am still considering doing it, but being ok with not doing it is easier said than done.
A lot of my friends right now (most of my friends) are also in this weird transition place. What's next? We're in our 30s and 40s and don't want to feel stuck or unhappy, but taking that leap into the unknown is always hard. Safety in numbers maybe? Misery loves company? Both? All I know is that I want to reinvent myself and I wish I knew how or knew how to help anyone else out there. I miss the way I was feeling when I was doing a lot and on top of everything. I called that version of me 'Awesome Erica.' I miss her.
Blah blah...just using this as a sounding board. Trying to figure it out. But I know that I really just need to take a deep breath and stay present in this moment. Cause this moment is pretty
ok great and that is good! The weather is beautiful. I am not in massive pain today. I have deep and enriching relationships that feed my soul. My husband is perfect. I am thankful for all the blessings I've been given.
So. One step at a time. Stay in the present. Yes yes.
Yes, also, this is like the 3rd or 4th time I've updated this post. Which means the sounding board is working! I don't feel so grim! My anxiety has loosened a bit! I am seeing the bigger picture a little better! I'm also assembling some boxes at work, and I really am enjoying that and it is relieving some stress. I think maybe in a past life I was an assembly line worker. And a happy one at that. Maybe I got to sit down or take frequent breaks.
Today's song of the day. Yes, it is more Chris Cornell, deal with it.
I love that I have the kind of life where I can have photos and experiences like this with my husband:And here are some other awesome ones from Monday's show: Thanks to the super awesome Elizabeth McQuern for the photos!
I am now in the home stretch for the Insane Summer of 2011. Seriously, I went from 0 to 100 in the course of a few short months, and I think I am paying for it with a face fulla zits, a crick in my neck, and the bum knee. When I get mega overwhelmed and overstressed like this, I need to pretty much stop everything and reboot for a while. I am looking forward to September!
Apes closes a week from today! Only 2 more to go! What a fun trip this has been. The contestants continually amaze me, and we have a lot of fun up on that stage. When Apes closes, my KKC rehearsals will switch back to Monday nights (after taking a week off for Labor Day), so then I will have my Wednesday nights free again!
I think we are done with the wedding circuit this year, too. Whew! I performed 3 wedding ceremonies in 5 months! Each one was so amazing and beautiful and made me cry, and it is an honor that my friends trust me enough to put their special days in my hands. I am so blessed to have such amazing friends that I am able to share my life with (that goes for everyone--not just the ones that got married this year!)
The triathlon...yeah, I don't know what to do about that. I haven't biked or gone for a run in forever, so I am going to make the decision Friday night if I can do the triathlon Saturday morning. I am going to try to ride for a half hour tomorrow--if I can. I am still in some pain, and still limping, but I hope it is finally starting to get better. I am going to call the doctor next week to find out what to do next.
Someone recommended Tai Chi to me...that might be a fun thing to pursue. I am feeling like a lumpy slug since I've been forced to be sedentary. Soon I will be a good candidate for a "Before" photo.
I am really just looking forward to being boring again. I jumped back into the performance circuit with both feet, and now I am ready to bow out again. I want to nest. I want to scan the photos that I have set aside for scanning, put the newspaper clippings in a scrapbook, sort my clothes (remember when I said I wanted to dress better? That sort of fell away. Though now that I have been having to take public transit, I've started to care again a little more), sort our magazines, sort our books, purge purge purge! I want to enjoy my husband, my house, my friends, my cats. Make my own schedule.
Don't tell anyone, but I am excited for Fall.
I keep having this recurring dream that I am in high school and we are on an AB schedule, and I alternate English and Science classes. In the dream, I can never remember where my science class is, always forget to do my science homework and can't ever find my book, and always forget to go to science class. Just that one class. I end up freaking that I am going to fail the class (which I think in my dreams is taught by Ms. Richter) and I just keep only going to Ms. Brittan's English class instead.
This is my song for the week (thanks to Rebecca for introducing me to it):
Kate and Dan's wedding is featured on Style Me Pretty!
Check it out--the photos are beautiful!
In the unpacking I have done recently, I found the following essay that my dad had submitted to Rolling Stone Magazine on December 3, 1975, telling the story of how Remember Duane Allman came to be.
I have added a few footnotes as well. Enjoy!
Remember Duane Allman
by G. David Reid
Six miles east of
Some people have never heard of Duane Allman. But those who know his music can understand the motivation to commemorate his spirit. The four of us who carved our feelings upon that wall--Dennis Garner, Don Antoine(1), Len Raines and myself--were among the growing number of people becoming aware of Duane's virtuosity on electric, acoustic and slide guitars when his death shocked the world of rock 'n' roll. Praised by fellow guitarists of all walks as one of the best rock n roll guitarists ever, his career ended with his death on October 29, 1971 from injuries suffered in a motorcycle accident. He was twenty-four.
Certainly we weren't as severely affected as people closer to Duane, but we were moved almost a year and a half after his death to honor his genius in our own special way. The idea was to produce a memorial that could be seen by many and interpreted by all as an appreciation of great talent. It could also serve to acquaint people with Duane's name. Hopefully, this was to be done in a lasting way that would somehow dominate other memorials or monuments in the area.
Our idea wasn't original. We had seen, in a magazine, a photograph of a similar statement painted on a fence in
Our feelings about carving the message were mixed. Len Raines had remarked that he was tired of hearing so much about Duane Allman. The other three of us were enthusiastic about the idea but hesitant to make a start. It was easier to imagine the appearance of a huge message than to prepare for it and begin. Added to this was a bit of apprehension regarding the possibilities of people interrupted by the highway patrol or state highway maintenance crews. We discovered later that the risk of being "interrupted" by authorities was the factor that assured Raines' appearance for the carving.
At the time, the four of us were enrolled at
With the actual carving in mind, we set aside all morning activities of an approaching Saturday and stopped at the site beforehand to affirm our choice of a bank. The dirt was fine and packed, and we were pleased with the smooth face of the wall and its lack of vegetation. This wall, like many others here, was left with an almost vertical face because of its composition. The soil is windblown or aeolian soil and resists erosion to large degrees. It is not common in this country, but is found in Warren County, Mississippi, parts of Asia and in
"REMEMBER DUANE ALLMAN" was carved on one of these banks on February 3, 1973, a Saturday morning. It was begun at 8:45, completed four and one half hours later and turned out to be more ambitions than any of us had first imagined. After removing a carload of picks, axes and a nine-foot ladder, expressing feelings of general paranoia of being accused of defacing state property, we spaced and marked the positions for the letters. Upon the realization that we had only used one-third of the available carving space, we doubled the dimensions of the entire message. Our original conception of three to four feet tall letters and a message sixty feet long was abandoned as we re-spaced its position on the wall. The letters became six feet tall and the message over one hundred feet long.
The bank on which we carved is immediately west of a truck scale or weigh station one mile west of Bovina, Mississippi, and trucks came roaring past us constantly that day. The weather was beautiful, the sky clear and the sun hot, often the description of a
We were filthy, covered with sweat and about to collapse, but at the mention of leaving, Dennis announced that he'd be damned if after four and a half hours of carving that message he wasn't going to sign his name. We tossed a coin to determine the order of our signatures; thus in smaller letters, DENNIS, DAVID, DON and LEN. This took another hour of exhausting work. By that time, the sun had dried the moisture from the face of the bank and drained the enthusiasm from our bodies. Every chip into the dirt sent dust into the air. The signatures suffered because they were smaller and needed more attention for precision. We gave them little. A few minutes after two o'clock, we reloaded the car with all the tools and looked at our finished product with pride. Yes, it looked good; however, it became apparent to me that we had hurt the effectiveness of its appearance because we had unknowingly carved our names too close to the N in ALLMAN. It read like a run-on sentence--"REMEMBER DUANE ALLMAN DENNIS DAVID DON LEN." I hated what I knew we had to do. The three of us remaining (Len had left us earlier) were shaking with hunger and exhaustion but the suggestion came out of my mouth--we needed to extend the upward arm of the last "N" to distract from the crowded effect our names had caused. We drug the ladder back to the wall and spent fifteen minutes carving the arm higher. It made the shape of the letter ridiculous and didn't remove the crowded effect.
Inspiration entered the scene at that moment, and I mounted the ladder again and transformed our message into what a local art instructor cited as a piece of expressionistic art. I changed the blunt end of the arm of the "N" into a pointed arrow. Pointed skyward, it reminded me of the nicknames associated with Duane--"Skyman" and "Skydog." Not wanting to consider what else might be done to improve the carving, we drove away elated with an extreme sense of accomplishment, and an eagerness to hear of reactions to our work.
We are proud of the results of that morning and of the reactions we have received. Many of our friends suggested that we send photographs and a story of the carving to various magazines. Not feeling the need for such a thing at the time, I wanted to know how far word of it would travel without our interference. We found interesting the number of times we encountered people who claimed to have carved the message, or heard stories of people we had never met who supposedly had done it. A photograph and brief mention of the carving appeared in "Random Notes" of Rolling Stone a year and two months later. Friends have reported that local radio stations and newspapers have mentioned it and that one of the local television stations sent a camera and crew to the site and posed the question, "Who was Duane Allman, and why should he be remembered?"
All of these responses to our carving--whether they are claims of credit for the work, stories on local radio and television stations, photographs in magazines or simply word of mouth descriptions of something seen on the interstate--each and every one--justify the half-day's effort we gave to carve this message. Each time it is mentioned, our goal is accomplished. Hopefully, a good percentage of those who have seen it have since experienced the music of Duane Allman, either for the first time or again with the same enthusiasm and respect that motivated the four of us to honor him three years ago. Even in writing these words about it, knowing that responses to them will be varied, I feel satisfaction and a renewal of pride in having had a part in something as simple, yet effective, as carving words in dirt.
(1) Don is my uncle, married to my mom's sister, but Mom and Dad were not dating yet.
(2) Christopher and I also attending Hinds Community College
(3) My mom also rode the bus to Hinds, which is how they met.
(4) In the South, "dinner" in actually "lunch."
From Fuzzy's Blog:
Remember Duane Allman from Slides
Sometimes the Internet Answers and the Florida Cracker post about the carving.
Remember When David Reid Remembered Duane Allman?
Remember Duane Allman, Follow-Ups
Dad and Gregg, from when they got to meet.
The gang mid-carve in 1973.
The gang in October of 2007.
And they aren't terrible, but they aren't great.
Basically, the doc says that underneath my kneecap, there is a lot of inflammation, bruising and scar tissue, and it is hard to tell what is old and what is new. She said it looks like my knee was recently dislocated or hyperextended (which it could have quickly been when I hit the pavement.) Nothing is torn (hooray!) and everything is in the right place (double hooray!) but she said it looks really angry and funky. I don't need surgery (BIGGEST HOORAY) which is a relief--she said she thought sure they were going to have to "cut me open" and she is happy that isn't neccessary. Since my knee is improving, the next steps are just to keep resting it, icing it, and taking ibuprofen (I haven't iced or ibuprofened in a while) and taking it easy. If in a week or so, it isn't where I want it to be, we can consider a steriod injection or a referral to a knee specialist. But if things are better, she said she hopes that it can get back to its regular operating condition, which she said is "not normal, but something you know how to manage."
As for the triathlon, she said to still wait and see how it is feeling in a week or so. She said and since I am now so far off my training, that it will probably be rough and there is a risk of reinjury during the race, but that I am a "smart person" and know my body, so if I think I can do it, she says then there's nothing stopping me.
No results yet on my MRI. I called yesterday and the results were in, but they had not yet been reviewed by the doctor. I am considering calling again today, but I don't want to be a pest.
Fuzzy hooked my bike up to our trainer, and I tried it out on Tuesday. It hurt and I'm so out of shape now, that the cardio was hard, too. I could only go about 13 minutes before having to stop. Today at work, I did a small jog to the mailbox, and proved that I am not yet ready to run. I am starting to get scared that I won't be able to do the triathlon. I know it won't be the end of the world if I can't, but I will be so disappointed. I was/am really looking forward to it, cause I know that pre-wreck, I COULD do it, and I had already overcome so much pain and so many obstacles to get to that point. 3 years ago, I was afraid of running cause of my knees, and biking hurt a lot, so the fact that I tried it anyway and pushed myself and improved so much means the world to me. The metal at the finish line was going to be my badge of honor. So now I am faced with the decision of pushing through and trying it anyway with potentially a lot of pain and struggle (and damage), or skipping it and letting my body rest and heal, but letting myself down mentally and emotionally.
So I guess I am hoping the doctor calls and says nothing is wrong with my knee and in another week I will be pain free. I can have hope, right?
I had dance rehearsal last night, and it went ok. I wasn't able to do a lot, but I did more than I thought I was going to be able to, so that was nice. I was so worn ragged, though, it was probably the worst teaching I've ever done. Nothing was clear or based on any counts, and I couldn't for the life of me think of or say the word "hand." Literally--I had to keep holding my hand and saying "what is this called?" Yikes. One of the girls asked if I was still on my heavy duty drugs. No, I am not...
I think I could probably sleep for about a month.
I am happy to say, though, that as of yesterday I can now walk up and down a few steps with my left leg! That is a huge improvement!
What a day. Time for my whoa is me, I'm stressed out, wah wah pity party. It's my blog, right?
*Our car is done. It started moaning a few days ago, so we checked the power steering fluid and it was really low. While under the hood, I noticed that the coolant level was low, and I just refilled it a few weeks ago. So I took it in this morning, and here's the damage: Power steering leak, coolant tank crack, the rear brakes don't work at all, left rear bearing is gone, the belts are all crappy, and the right front brake hose is broken--all fixable for about $2,000. After the $1,000 we just paid for fixing the brakes and the $2,500 earlier this year from when the clutch broke. So no way am I repairing it, when in another month, something else will be broken. So now we will be carless and public transity until we can maybe buy my brother's car. Better get back on that bike soon...
*My iPhone is almost out of space. Gotta delete some shit.
*My Gmail is almost out of space. Gotta delete some emails, but I don't want to mass delete them, cause I want to keep ones from dad. One of which I read this morning, and it tore me up.
*I went to the dentist today. I have an awesome dentist and I floss obsessively....annnnnd, I have a cavity.
*The knee is a lot better, but it still hurts a lot. No MRI results yet.
*Too much to do. Not enough money/time/energy to do it.
So, nothing too terribly is wrong, its just the sum of the parts. All in all, it was a great weekend and we had a lot of fun. But today I am just...struggling.
I had my MRI this morning. I thought it was going to be no big deal, but it turned out to be more nerve-wracking than I expected. The machine was really loud (I had earplugs) and they said it was going to be 25-30 minutes, which is a long time to be still, and my left knee was put in this sort of archway little thing and foam cushions were positioned all the way around it. I wasn't supposed to move, but of course, my knee kept having spasms and I shifted some (the technician said it didn't mess anything up.) The thing I was laying on was jerky, too, and everything sort of got my heart racing, although my head wasn't in the big tube at all, so it wasn't really a claustrophic thing--or maybe it was. I kept trying to take deep breaths and focus on the soothing undertone pulses of the machine and not the the loud rattles, but instead kept thinking about the night Dad was supposed to have an MRI for his spine had had to go to the emergency room instead for bladder stuff. That poor little guy was in so much pain. But anyways, afterwards, while having breakfast in the hospital with Fuzzy, I got a little overwhelmed about all the sickness in the world and how many people are ill---I am SO blessed that all I have to deal with is a silly little knee injury I got while doing something awesome.
Also, when the MRI was finished, I was amazed that freaking magnetic fields can give you an image of something on the inside of your body. SCIENCE AND MEDICINE ARE INCREDIBLE! God bless those who work in those professions. I wish everyone around the world had access to the technology that we have in the states. We are lucky.
SO! I should have more information by the middle of next week.
You know, it all makes me feel like this:
Ooh, y'all. You know I've got some crappy super fine hair that doesn't look good unless it is super duper short. I've had about a million hairstyles and colors in my life, and I get bored really easily. Sadly, my hair grows way too damn fast. So I often times want to do weird and edgy things with it, I like it when it looks really severe or "fake" (as I used to say) and I get hair envy pretty often.
So when we watched last night's Project Runway, I SWOONED when I saw this model's hair and styling. SWOONED! I mean, take a look:
I mean, look at it! To die for! I wish I could do that with my hair--I one time wore these weird nub things in my hair for about 2 weeks and my hair was all bleached and weird and it looked crunchy and a little homeless. Erica (the other one) could always pull off the mini-nub/ homemade afro-puffs so well, and mine were more like puny cheese doodles. Not gorgeous and luxurious like this.
Not to mention the fact that I've been swooning over Anya's hair the last two weeks. Her clothes and earrings, too, actually.
I've been wanting to do the shaved sides thing for a while. I love everything about it. But I don't know if I can pull it off....but if I can't, who cares, right? I'll just shave the rest off and it will grow back before I know it. Better to do it now than the ass cold winter, right?
Episode 3 of Drunk Monkeys is up over on Four Squirrels, and in this one we drink Chambord. I think this is the best one yet.
Also, the expressions and emotions that Jen's face has in the first 4 seconds of the video are I think the best 4 seconds that have ever been caught on film. I can't stop watching it. Enjoy!
In a few weeks, I am performing the ceremony of some dear friends, and everyone in the wedding party is supposed to wear a pair of Converse. The timing of this is perfect, since I've been kicking it in the 90s vibe since the Soundgarden concert a few weeks ago (who am I kidding--I am always in a 90s vibe.) My bro used to be the connoisseur of Converse High Tops, having over 20 pairs at one point in high school. I wasn't that hardqore--I only had about 4 or 5 pairs. But there was one special pair. One near and dear to my heart. One pair that I probably literally wore every single day for years. One pair that got huge holes in the toes of both shoes (something that still happens to my shoes today--I must have knives as big toes) and that lost the outer fabric overlay, so by the end of their life, they were just gross grey things. A pair that ripped all along the sides so that my feet were almost exposed at all times. Trusty shoes that I wore to Lollapalooza 94 and that I never wanted to wash although they got really grimey that day (I distinctly remember peeing on the shoelaces accidently behind a dumpster on the drive back from New Orleans).
So when I was browsing the shoes online, and I saw the low-top version of them, I had a physical gut reaction. It was like seeing an old old beloved friend. I literally teared up. It was an awesome discovery. Those of you who knew me in high school and that read this blog (Mom, of course, and Melissa, Jill, Sarah, Jeremy, Amanda, Jennifer, Ian, Laura, Ashley, and anyone else I might be missing) will most likely recognize them (though probably not Carrie or Erin, since I didn't wear these shoes to church...I don't think. Ok, I might have.):
When I first sent my brother the listing, his response was, "Oh yeah. I certainly know those shoes."
They arrived today--perfect timing, since I need a bit of a pick-me up. It feels good to be reunited.
Yeah, so they are a little too big, but who cares. They were on sale, too--added bonus. It's too bad they don't have the high top version, but I think it is a good metaphor--I am essentially the same girl I was in high school, with the same passions and interests, but am a wiser woman now, with so much life and experience under my belt. Similar, but different.
Now all I have to do is find some red shoelaces...
I spoke with much bravado last night about healing and training and everything, and today I thought I was going to wake up refreshed and inspired and ready to fight. Instead, I am the opposite: exhausted with no energy and a little grumpy. It hurts to move and I feel like I don't know what to do with my body. I need to remember my zen. Zennnn.
I am working upstairs today at the office, so I have to take the stairs very slowly and one at a time. Of course, as soon as I get upstairs, I remember something downstairs and vice versa. I am relieved that I can just go home tonight after work and lie down. TOMORROW I will be ready to swim. Right?