October 2011 Archives
Sorry the blog has been sparse lately. I've just been in a funk. I'll write more when I get my mojo back, and when this busy week is over!
Hope everyone is doing well!
I am still sick. I can't eat. I can't keep any food in my system, and I also can't force anything down. I think I had only about 300 calories yesterday, and that was from a bottle of gatorade and 3 pieces of toast. I went to the doctor yesterday, though, and hopefully it is on it way out.
I AM EFFING STARVING.
All I want to do is eat. And y'all know that I love to eat. So today is this my daydream:
The Becca's special sandwich from Goldies--giant BBQ sausage sandwich on thick garlic bread, with a huge helping of their mustard potato salad.
And a side of chicken fingers and potato skins with loads of honey mustard.
Unsweet iced tea, and a giant iced latte and a big ice cold beer. And a fancy cocktail.
And some sort of gooey hot chocolately dessert. It doesn't matter what.
I can't wait till I can eat. CAN'T WAIT.
Update: now I am daydreaming about pastries. Sugary gooey ones.
Oh man, I have so much to report. So where've I been? Oh, right--dealing with a stomach virus since Friday. Bad cramping, lots of time in the bathroom, can barely eat. It's been rough.
So, for those of you playing along at home:
July 26-present: Bike Wreck, knee injury, still in recovery
Sept 14-15: Bad reaction to my anti-inflamatory
Sept 15-23: Infected blister resulting in 4 trips to the hospital
Sept 25-26: Full body rash
Oct 5-12ish: Cold/ allergy issues
Oct 14-present: Stomach virus
Let's just say that I am really tired.
I am really achy, weak and worn out, I've not been able to do anything at home (cleaning, cooking) in a really long time, I feel like an idiot, and I feel like I am letting everyone down (though I always feel like I am letting people down when I am sick, when really the only people affected by my illnesses are me and sweet Fuzzy, and Fuzzy is amazing. I need to remember that no one is sitting around thinking I am a terrible person, and if they are, eff em.) Unfortunately, I've also still been going to work and doing my extracurriculars: rehearsals, scheduling more rehearsals, choreographing and teaching. I've canceled some plans to have nights at home and to get more sleep, but it's just not enough. I want a week where I can just not go to work and not have any plans and just focus on getting my shit together. Like a vacation!! I am jealous of celebrities who can check themselves into facilities for exhaustion. The good news is that today I am eating more and have had good luck, so I hope this funk is on it way out of my system.
I am listening to my body, though. I am taking steps to have less stress and responsibility. So I can hunker down in December and January and focus on me, Fuzzy, and getting stronger.
My physical therapy is coming along nicely. I have to go twice a week, and also do exercises during the week on days I don't go to therapy. It's really an eye opening experience. Everything is hard! I am so out of shape, I have no stamina and not a lot of strength, so I struggle a lot. I am really frustrated that I can't do more right now, but I know it's one day at a time. My physical therapist is awesome, and I am learning pretty much how to properly use my knee for the first time in my life. The way my legs are built, my knee wants to always roll in, so I am learning to keep it pushed out. Building up those muscles. Again, I must say--it is hard. I've also learned that you are supposed to not have any pain when you do PT, but yet, I don't know how I can bend my knee or use any of those muscles without any pain. It always hurts. I just have to keep up with the exercises and keep icing it. I also have this weird tape that wraps around my leg and knee to help strengthen it and keep it in place. I helps with the pain, too--I can go up and down stairs a little easier with it on. But it is weird--it is tape. On my body. Fascinating, right?
There were a lot of kids at PT on Thursday, and it made me wish I had gotten a little bit better treatment of my knees when I had my first injury when I was a kid. I was given some exercises, but I didn't keep up with them, or have a therapist that I went to work with. I wonder how my life would have been different if I had. BUT! What matters is that I am getting help NOW so that I can run, dance, do triathlons, take pilates, etc. I need to reclaim that part of my life. But for now, I understand that I am healing, and "letting the crops rest*." No one is putting any pressure on me but me. It's ok to take some time off.
*Rebecca told me the other day that she saw an interview with Neil Young, who said that every now and then, you have to "let the crops rest." So so true, and just what I needed to hear.
So, the back story is that in order to get Tanzanian visas we have to list our job title and job description. None of the other 5 countries that MKLM serves has to do that. So most missioners won't know their job until they're in the country, can tour the job sites, and get a feel for where their education, talents and interests will best fit. I think there's positives and negatives to both ways of doing it, but I certainly appreciate knowing ahead of time what my job will be! So, we sat down with our Regional Coordinator on Thursday of last week and hashed out where we'll be working. I am thrilled to say that it sounds like both of our jobs will be perfect fits!
I will be working at the Catholic Diocese of Mwanza in their Women's Programming Desk. I'll be working with a native Tanzanian woman who's been the "lone ranger" in the office but she doesn't have enough time to get all the work done. The programs they run include: Gender and HIV/AIDS, Gender and Inequality, Supporting Women in Civic Engagement, Support for Single Mothers and Women and Agriculture, to name just a few. So, needless to say, I'm totally stoked and I feel like it's all coming full circle. This is the exact type of work that I wanted to do and my skills and education will certainly be utilized in this job.
Chris will also be working with women, but in a different capacity and through a different organization. His job will be assisting an NGO with women's cooperatives. His job will be a lot more nebulous because it's basically just sitting with women in the area and finding out what kinds of things they'd like to start, and then helping them start them. There are already a few coops already started, one of which is a womens' singing and drumming group. He's totally psyched about that!
Time will tell what these jobs will really look like, but at this point we feel very positive about it and can't wait to get started!
I am excited for them! Yet, I am also sad, since their departure is drawing nearer and nearer. But mostly, I am inspired.
I've been trying to do some research on Africa, its troubles, and some organizations that are trying to make a difference. Here are two of them:
The Voice Project. Trying to help tell child soldiers that it's ok for them to go home.
One.org Trying to stop the famine in Somalia and the Horn of Africa.
And for fun, here's the video for K'naan's T.I.A. It makes me want to dance.
I've been talking a lot lately with loved ones about the importance of taking a risk to make exciting changes in your life.
I am inspired by my brother and sister-in-law who are doing exactly that.
Margaret is amazing to talk to about it, too.
I am taking some steps for change in my life. Regrouping first, then starting a new.
Before therapy on Tuesday, I ran into the Cultural Center for 5 minutes. They have an amazing exhibit right now (free!) about Artists and Letterforms and I want to go spend more time with it. But on one giant wall of art, in big writing, there was this quote, which I found is by Neale Donald Walsh which just about blew my mind and is exactly true:
"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."
So let's get out there, everyone, and do the thing we are afraid to do!
I am obsessing this week about the Teal Cat Project.
They take old ceramic kitty knick knacks (you can donate them) and paint them teal, tag them and sell them on their website. All proceeds go to Trap-Neuter-Return programs to help curb the feral cat population and cut down on euthanasia.
Now I want to scour antique stores and yard sales for cats to donate! And buy a teal one in return.
Read more about it here!
Nothing new to report really. Things are chugging along just fine and I can't believe we are well into October already. I suspect that the rest of the year is just going to fly by.
Kiss Kiss Cabaret starts its Halloween run this Friday at 11:30! Including the super awesome blacklight paint number you don't want to miss. More info on the shows here.
We had a nice visit from Fuzzy's brother Disco this past weekend. It was great hanging out with him!
We FINALLY finished the Seinfeld Project last night. We watched all 9 seasons! What a fun project. Now, on to Party Down, Modern Family, Golden Girls, etc etc.
We've been fighting a nasty fall cold in the Gerdes house. Fuzzy's had fever and everything, and he lost his voice and is a cough machine. I'm trying to fight it, but have a sniffly/ stuffed up nose and a bit of a sore throat. Stay away germs!
Latte is healing very nicely, post claw removal. She's so sweet.
If you are looking for a sweet lady cat as a companion, I know of an awesome one who is looking for a good home (no, not Parker or Latte--those are mine). Just leave me a comment or send me an email!
If you are a woman in the Chicagoland area, and are available the morning of Oct 15th, I need you for a comedy music video! Same deal--leave a comment or email me.
I need to get out of town. I love Chicago, I am finding that I am starting to hate it, too, and it's not even winter yet. With the "what do we do about a car" question and the fact that we lost some money on the Kentucky Trip That Never Was, things are just a bit more complicated than I would like them to be, and all I want to do is take a vacation. We have a few prospects for weekend and day trips in October and November, so that's good, then there are holidays coming up and December is going to be trying to see Christopher and Katie before their big African departure. The good news is that since I reached my insurance deductible earlier this year, my recent trips to the ER seem to be covered. What a relief! One day at a time, right?
That's all I got today.