January 1, 2014.
We are blessed that we are able to see the dawning of a new year.
Fuzzy and I have spent our new years eve and new years day so far in a somber state, as our sweet little Parker is likely prepping to leave this earth.
I won't go into any of the gruesome details (yet), but we spent 5 hours in the vet ER yesterday and opted to bring her home to keep her comfy and warm instead of leaving her at the hospital for extreme action, which they wanted to do. There's a lot to be said for quailty of life, and if this is her time to go, I would rather her do it with me in her cat bed by a heater than in a cold hospital with a bunch of strangers. It's heartbreaking to watch her, but when I pet her, she purrs, and that makes me so happy.
Ends of life are beautiful things. Hard as shit, but beautiful. I was blessed to be witness to the passing of my father; to watch his transition up to Heaven, alongside the rest of our immediate family. It is a memory that I hold dear and will til the end of MY time on earth.
I've been telling myself for years that I would be able to handle it when Parker passes--I've been through hell and back, and I am strong. If I could deal with dad's passing and mom's illness, surely I would be able to be rational and strong during the passing of a dumb little animal. But hearing the state of her health yesterday, I couldn't help but cry, and I have been weeping ever since. Parker is my best friend--she's been with me for almost my full adult life--I got her when I was 20, and she was just a few weeks old. She's from my hometown. She moved here with me, dated Fuzzy with me, blended into a larger family with 2 other cats when Fuzzy and I moved in together. She's been by my side and in my lap through everything. She's tolerated all the costumes, been in a million videos, and has more friends than I do. She is so pretty, and all the vets and technitions who have ever been around her have always complimented me on how good a kitty she is. It even happened yesterday.
We have more vet visits in our future in the next few days, and we will see what happens from there. Who knows, she might rally and be here for years! But for the first day of 2014, I am going to enjoy the company of the most amazing cat that I have ever met and had the honor to be friends with. I will celebrate the years we've shared together and the person she has helped me become.