Ok, Some Updates for Realsies

Hi everyone! I am alive, I am here, I am fine.
I haven't blogged for real in a long time--it's been all 'woe is me' for a long time. But let's face it, I've had a crappy couple of months. But in that time I haven't been sleeping (I'm only awake about 14 whole hours a day) or laying on the couch (which is now an extension of my body), some other stuff has been happening, too. Like what?

Well, the biggest decision is that I have decided to leave the burlesque show. This was a hard decision to make, since I love the show and am really proud of the work that I have put into it for the last year. A year! We started rehearsals last October I think and I started choreographing before that.  It's been a constant stream of creativity and rehearsals, and I think I have really improved my teaching and managing skills in the process. I also have another producer credit under my belt, and I feel that I was instrumental in getting the show successful in its first year of running. A weekly show is hard work, and it hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows. But I've made some amazing friends and really grown in many ways, I think. With all my ailments, however, I realized more and more that I can't have anything dependent on me, especially not a show--whole numbers were delayed because I physically could not teach--and the stress of multiple rehearsals a week really started to get to me. In addition, my creative well has dried up, and all my numbers have started to look the same. As it stands now, in the last year, I have choreographed 5 full group numbers, co-choreographed two group numbers, and revisited/ retaught one I choreographed 2 years ago, and advised on 12 solos. Not too shabby!  We have found a new choreographer who has great experience and great energy that I think will really take the girls to the next level, which I feel I cannot do.  I am excited to see where the show will go next!  November marks my last official month in command, and I am cramming in rehearsals left and right to get new numbers up and new girls caught up. After that, I will be available as an adviser as needed, if needed. November 21 will be my last rehearsal. It is bittersweet--it is hard to let it go, yet, I am ready to let it go, and I feel really great about my decision. I hope to have at least one big blowout night before the end of the year with the show and the girls. We'll see!

I've also been offered multiple other choreography opportunities over the last couple months through summer next year. I've turned them down. I really have to listen to my body and my heart and allow myself to rest. Rest physically and rest mentally and emotionally. The next couple months have the potential to be really hard, with Christopher and Katie leaving, and I need to nourish my soul as much as possible.  I plan on doing this by enjoying the holidays and the weather--I am hit with a crippling fear every time I think about the cold or snow, like a panic-- so I need to be prepared for that. I plan on seeing lots of friends, doing lots of cooking, and enjoying the seasons instead of letting them pass me by. I also want to get the house organized and clean-I know that sounds so domestic and boring, but when you've been go-go-going as much as you do in the Chicago performance community, it sounds like such a holiday.

I also have to focus on getting back on my feet. My knee still hurts all the time. The physical therapy has been really enlightening and amazing--I feel like now I am more working on fixing how my knee works and is built and less healing the injury. It is hard work, but I can tell I am improving. I am not yet cleared to run--I think that won't come until January, sadly. I next go to the knee doctor in December, and I am supposed to keep on with PT twice a week and try doing bicycle sprints on the trainer at home. Lucky for me, my physical therapist is awesome and I want to be friends with her when I am done with my sessions. I think I might add some pilates and yoga to the mix in December and January, just to start being active again. Even the easiest stuff wears me out these days.

What else? Some fun travel is coming up--hooray! This weekend is a trip away with some friends, then down to Austin for Thanksgiving, NY a weekend in December for Christopher and Katie's last weekend in their training, then MS for Christmas. I can't believe it is November already. Wow. But I love the holidays so so much. I don't have a lot of Christmas shopping to do, yet all I want to do is shop! I love everything about the holidays; well, not the freezing cold, but I will do what I can to help get through it.

Oh! And we fixed our car! WOOO! It cost a small fortune, but luckily, Fuzzy's been working his ass off on some freelance work and that was a huge help. It is AMAZING having it back and has already made a big difference. Though it was touch and go there for a minute--after I got it from the shop, the steering wheel was still howling and moaning and hard to turn, but the shop said that that was normal and it would work itself out. Well, 2 days later, I couldn't turn the wheel at all, so I drove very carefully back to the shop. Turns out they put in a defective power steering line. WHAT?! That could have been terrible! Thank goodness I took it back in when I did. But now it is fixed and wonderful and it drives like a dream. I am such a car dependent, I can't believe I went without it for so long.

Well, that's the basic update for now! Hopefully from this point on, all my updates will be good ones, and there will be no more illness for a while! I hope everyone has a good day!


Wow!! You have been a busy lady. I am glad you are taking it easy on the knee. And on the phone you said you drove someone somewhere. I
meant to ask you about it.
Dec. is going to be a bittersweet time, with Africa looming so close. I will probably be a puddle of tears when they leave. But I can still talk to him and hug and kiss him from afar! Okay I am going to take a nap, then go to my massage. Keep on keeping on, baby!! I am proud of you!!

Sad to hear you have left the burlesque show

Erica! I'm so proud of you. You're so awesome. So self-actualized and so much hope inside that tired body of yours. I think you're doing all the right things.

I too have been dreading winter and then I find myself sometimes (on nice days like today) silently wishing for some cloudy clouds and chilly air.

We're going to rest, stay warm, laugh and play and be cozy. You're going to do great. Yay you!