Cry Me an Ocean

This weekend is going to be a doozy.

Saturday I am seeing the Dixie Chicks! I am really excited. However, I have a hard time listening to them without crying. One of my favorite recent memories was one of the first times Fuzzy went to Mississippi to visit my parents with me. Dad had saved the Austin City Limits with the Chicks on it, and Mom sat one one couch while Fuzzy, me and Dad sat in the other. Fuzzy played on his Nintendo DS, a happy little clam, barely paying attention to the show, while Mom, Dad and I blubbered like babies at every song. The other day, I popped them in on my way to work, and when I got there, I had soaked up 2 tissues. Thank goodness for waterproof mascara.

So we all know that I was on the fence about seeing Jethro Tull on Sunday, right? I've seen them I think 5 times and Ian Anderson solo once. For the 2 years after Dad died, I wasn't able to listen to them without bursting into tears, however as I said the other day, I feel like I was just able to reclaim them, and I have really been enjoying it. Well, the other day, it hit me like a brick in the face that Sunday is freaking Father's Day.

It is a sign, right?

Up until this week, the pavillion seats have been sold out. If working in box offices for 7 years has taught me anything, it is that seats sometimes open up last minute. So the other night (when I had a hard time sleeping) I had this strong urge to call the box office in the morning. I did. They had just added some general seating folding chairs in the pavillion. So I bought them.

I'll be seeing Jethro Tull on Father's Day.

I kind of feel like it is the close of a very important chapter. That I will be able to share that moment with Dad and then release it to the world. Megan said months ago that she thinks the reason all my favorite bands are playing this summer is because of Dad, and I have never seen more proof than this one concert. I am glad that I will be able to share this moment with Fuzzy, too, and that we can experience it together.

Just thinking about it makes me tear up. I am going to be a mess this weekend from start to finish, but in a weird way, I am looking forward to the release. If I really am starting a new chapter in my life (which I feel like I am) and moving forward in a good direction, I need to purge the remaining fear/grief/sadness/anger from my body and soul. I can't think of a better way to do it than with some good live music.