Some Letters I've Been Meaning to Send


Dear Sun,
Thank you for sticking around longer and longer every day. It helps me see on the drive home, and it makes me smile. I like hanging out with you. You make things better.
Sincerely, Warm-Blooded Southern Girl Who Can't See at Night

Dear Chex Mix,
If I wanted to eat a bunch of seasoned crackers and pretzels, I would have bought a bag of Gardettos. The truth is, I want more Chex in my Chex mix, but apparently, to get that, I have to buy my own box of Chex and add it to my pre-seasoned Chex Mix. Thanks for nothing.
Sincerely, Didn't want Crackers

Dear Wealthy People,
I know that I am not related to any of you and that the economy is bad right now, but I am a nice person with a lot of debt. If you are looking to help sponsor someone or give to a good cause, I would be a worthy recipient. OR, if you don't want to pay my credit cards, I would also happily take funding for a new tattoo (or 3) or for a vacation that I would love to take with my husband to help detox from the last few shitty years. Just consider it. And I can guarantee that the tattoos would all be beautiful and very symbolic, repesenting such important things in my life as my surgery, my father, my family, my triumph through hard times, my spirit, and my husband.
Sincerely, A Girl Who Can't Spend Money On Herself Without Having Considerable Guilt.

Dear TV,
Thank you for being so awesome. Thank you for Top Chef, The Office, Kath and Kim, America's Best Dance Crew, The Soup, The City, Good Eats, America's Next Top Model, Project Runway, Ace of Cakes, and--I might regret admitting to this--Rock of Love Bus.
Sincerely, Couch Potato

Dear 20s,
Ah, what memories we have together. Thank you for being my wreckless youth. You brought so many wonderful things--Chicago, Fuzzy, amazing opportunities, incredible friends, amazing road trips, marriage, hours and hours and days and weeks and years of laughter and fun. We've also had some hard times, some hard hard hard times that I don't ever want to go through again. We've grown a lot together. But soon, I must leave you behind and join the 30s. Don't worry, I will never forget you--you will always be a part of me. But to be honest, I am excited for the next decade and to see what it brings. It feels good to move on. Thank you for everything you have given me.
Love, Erica

Dear S-Dawg,
Would you like to go to Mz. Dymples?
Love, E-Rock


Hee hee!! You funny. The letter to Chex is the best. I can just see you adding the regular Chex and snarking in your head the whole time.
And YAY for our 30th birthdays coming up!!

Dear Erica,
Thank you for the letters. The one about rich people made me laugh so hard grape juice came out of my nose. . .almost. Let me know if you get any responses to that--and send one my way!
Your friend,

Dear E-rock,

I don't have time today, but maybe we can stop in the Avon store.