January 2008 Archives

Check out this amazing article about my cousin Joey. It was the front page of the Sunday paper in my hometown. I am so proud of him!

Sammy made this for my for my birthday last year, and I just ran across it again. Boy, does it make me laugh. It is an old school joke that only a few people know, but I love love love it.

Hooray!

The other day, I walked into the living room, and found this:

Seriously?! Can you get any more precious than that? Man, I love Fuzzy and Mustapha, and they love each other.

But come on, guys, look at this--isn't this the sweetest thing you've ever seen? Extreme close up!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello hello! So I think I am doing ok. Sure, everyday is something new, but I a slooowly starting to feel myself seeping back in. I've seen a few more friends, been to some more counseling sessions, and have found myself starting to think about comedy again! Daydreaming about it, actually. And getting excited about it! That makes me so happy, cause I was afraid that I had just lost it. I got my hair cut, and it is awesome, and just a small but important way to feel good about yourself. I am feeling more like me. Hooray!

For the record, my husband is the most amazing person on the planet. He is the most loving, supportive, funny and wonderful man and I am so blessed to be with him. I am so very lucky.

It has been a quiet week. I am still fighting the ick. Still not feeling rested. But today I treated myself to a day of sleeping and weeping, and it is just what I needed.

That, and maybe some Ethiopian food...

I've tried to blog now almost every day for a solid week, and every time I do, I can't make it through. It is just too exhausting for me and I don't have the energy. I thought that a blog would be good to tell my friends about what is going on with me, but lookee, it is just another obligation. So here are some things:
Back in Therapy, it is awesome and hard.
Getting some mental/ physical help from a friend.
I know how lucky I am.
I am going to focus on working out, getting mentally fit and taking care of myself for a while instead of stressing about doing shows.
I gotta get my anxiety under control--I basically fall out at the thought of seeing people, being in groups, or having anything to do with being in or seeing a show. Patience.

Yeah! I am still me, though, guys! I think I am kinda cool. Maybe a little?

Thanks for all your support! More when I can...

Seriously, where is my head? I think I am all with it, and then I have some sort of blaring realization that I need to take things slow.

I started work yesterday--it was good to be back. Shannon is out till Monday, so I was there with the woman who was temping for me. It took me a little while to get back into the swing of things, and I need to remember that it is ok that I don't know the answers to the questions that my bosses are asking. I was gone for a while--it will get better. So when it was time to go, Jennifer (the temp) and I gather our things, I say to her--do you have your keys out? so she can lock the door, we get in our cars and go our separate ways. I run an errand and then start to go home, where Fuzzy was going to be meeting me. Halfway there, I realize that I don't have my keys. Do I have my keys? I don't think I grabbed them. Shoot--well, just let me call Fuzzy. Wait--do I have my phone? So I pulled into a gas station and looked for my phone. Nope. Plus, I am carrying a huge purse with too much stuff in it that I just threw in there from MS, so it is an ordeal. So I look around and see if there is a payphone. I can't tell you the last time I used a pay phone, but I certainly don't miss it. So I am standing there in my too-thin-a-jacket in temperatures that humans shouldn't be allowed in trying to find quarters for the phone, which of course eats $1.00 and doesn't let me make a call. At this point, it is 5:00pm, and Fuzzy leaves work at 5:30pm. I decide to try to go to his work before he leaves.

The drive downtown was actually pretty easy. There wasn't a lot of traffic, and with my new glasses, I can see to drive at night (it is amazing!). The problem was that there is hardly ever any parking around his office. So I get there, and put on my flashers in a tow zone. It is 5:25. I get out of the car, and then realize that there is a good chance that on a day like this, I will get towed, so I decide to forge ahead for parking. I was on the verge of tears and dealing with some crummy traffic, so I say a prayer asking God to help me in this situation and find somewhere to park so I could catch Fuzzy in time (I just knew that he would have left early and then I was at his work without him.) As I pulled up to an intersection, a car miraculously pulled out of a meter spot in front of me. God provides! Throwing many thanks up to Heaven, I parked, raced inside and found Fuzzy right before he got ready to leave. Success!!

I know that it is no big deal and that it was never a tragedy--I am perfectly capable to buying time and I could have waited for him to go home, plus a lot of friends have spare sets of keys I could have used. But I think it is a perfect example of the fact that I am still a little loopy and as Kate said, having some culture-shocky symptoms. And that is ok.

2008's mantra should be--Slow Down. One Day at a Time.