Meet Me at the Barre

I am feeling better.

For the first time in over a week I got dressed real clothes (sweater and jeans) and I wore earrings and I actually put on makeup today. I woke up this morning feeling good and not stressed out. I am over my cold (just have a runny nose) and feeling more hopeful. The weekend was really hard--lets just say there were a lot of tears--but that happens every now and again.

Contributing to my happiness today is this-- I went to my first ballet class in over a decade last night. I was really nervous, since I have all sorts of conflicted emotions entwined with ballet, and although it is the primary dance that I trained in, for some reason I've been convinced that it is easier to take anything but. I had a crappy day yesterday again, and class was at 6:30--fortunately, my awesome friend Megan didn't give me a chance to get out of it, she just said we would 'dance out the stress.' So we went. And it was wonderful. So fun. So natural. It just felt right. My body instantly fell back into the routines of the barre work and the floor routines and the leaps across the floor. It was great. It was kind of like putting on a broken-in pair of jeans or shoes--the feeling was so comfortable I can't believe I've gone without it for so long. After class I felt great. When Fuzzy came home, we ordered Chinese food, and we talked and laughed and played video games and just had a lovely time together in each other's company.

I felt my hope and happiness coming back to me, and I slept really well.

I am loving this dance renaissance that I am having. When you stop exercising, your mind forgets how good you feel when you are doing it. It feels good to be active. It releases the happy chemicals in your brain. It makes you feel better overall. And with dancing, on top of the feeling of activity and strength, you have the feeling of art and creativity and expression and freedom. So while stress and anxiety are causing me to pull back on my theatrical/producer/comedic/choreographer responsibilities, I am focusing on pushing my mind and body with dance class, and it is speaking directly to my soul.