Lately, I've been feeling really pulled in every direction. Feeling too depended upon, like people have been asking too much of me. I've been asked to help plan events. Asked to donate my time. I'm not good with kids and have found myself growing less and less comfortable around them, yet everyone needs and asks for childcare. And I've started to get resentful of it all. I mean, I am glad to help someone if I am able, but lately I've been feeling less and less able. I even recently said that I need to put out into the universe that I am really unreliable and untrustworthy, so people will stop leaning on me and so I can break my habit of agreeing to do things.
So yesterday I went to church.
I've been feeling more and more compelled to go to church, and this weekend especially, I knew I had to go. The church that I visit has a children's sermon near the start of the service. This week, the pastor started by talking about wanting to play catch with his older brother, and his brother usually did, even though he rarely wanted to. He then talked about being in elementary school and being asked to help tutor one of his classmates, and he did it, even though he didn't want to. He then went on to say that God wants us to help others by giving of our talents, and being there for people when then need help. Ah...now I know why I needed to be there this week. The message might have been intended for the children, but it was received by me.
So I am going to try to have a better attitude about helping others, all while being careful to listen to myself and my needs. God doesn't want us to overextend ourselves to the point of being worthless, so I need to keep it all in moderation. But I certainly will try to be more humble, cause it's not just about me and my needs and wants.
