Recently in If I Had Twitter Category

Fake Twitter #600

These capers on my lox bagel keep es-caping. #badfoodpuns

Fake Twitter #220

Back related to the creamer, we've vowed to 'moo' everytime we pour from it.

Fake Twitter #219

Unrelated to the creamer, I think Latte's theme song is "Ain't Nobody Here But Us Chickens."

Fake Twitter #218

I named it Tom Creamer, after the dramaturg at the Goodman Theatre. I just walked into the kitchen and said "What up, Tom?"

Fake Twitter. 217

Fuzzy and I bought a cow creamer a Target today. We've both sung songs into its mouth.

If I Had Twitter #734

When you wake up in the middle in the night with a song in your head, have you been dreaming about that song? Or did the song pop in the second you woke up? I wake up with a song on my mind every night, and the song is almost always different.

If I Had Twitter #301

I am vowing this Mardi Gras to make a King Cake from scratch. Now, I just gotta find a baby...

If I Had Twitter #765

I would like that new Madonna song a lot better if it were by Avril Lavigne.

Fake Twitter

Why yes, I am having a cup of my kidney stone prevention tea. Thank you for asking. #noonewasasking

Another Fake Twitter

K'naan is great running music. And today is great running weather.
Anyone know a retail location where I can buy some whistles for cheap? Got some!